My Reasons
by Lupin's Mistress
Summary: Regulus' thoughts on his family and in particular his brother...not much of a summary, but I promise it's good. Please Read and review.


**Author's Note: **Although I should be working on something related to say...homework, I'm not...so instead I wrote this and felt a need to post it. One-shot. One of the shortest ones I've written and completely different from most things I've written, although I do like Regulus Black. Anyhow, enjoy...and now I'm going to shamefully advertise my other new fic...It's a Heroes fic and if there are any fans of the show out there reading this, check it out...I have like one reader. I'll leave it at that. -smile-

Also, before I forget, I really don't like the title to this fic and would totally change it if anyone had anything better for me to use. I just wanted to post this and that was the only thing I could think of. Also, if I do get enough readers I could be persuaded to continue this...perhaps. I'm not entirely sure yet although ideas are forming in my head. -nod-

**Disclaimer: **I obviously do not own these characters...if I did I'd be rich and I wouldn't be here...

**My Reasons**

They always fought. Big screaming matches that neither would win. Father and I always watched from the sidelines. An unspoken rule had been in place for as long as I could remember: we weren't to interfere with any argument that Sirius and mother got into. Sometimes I wish I could have broken that rule, gone to my brother's aid and helped make excuses that could render Sirius faultless, but I was never strong enough to go against mother's wishes, not like Sirius was.

After the fight, father would go to mother and they would talk in whispers, leaving me to go after Sirius. I wondered, sometimes, if father agreed with mother and let her deal with my brother as such because he shared her views on the matter.

Sirius always did the same thing after the fights. He would go to his room where he'd blast music from some muggle contraption that drove mom crazy, and then he would write letters to his best friends asking if he could stay over for a few days. Sometimes, when the fights got bad enough, Sirius wouldn't even bother with going to his room and writing the letters, he would just take off and we wouldn't see him for weeks. We always knew where he went, though: The Potters' house in Godric's Hollow. One summer, he didn't come home at all and went straight there. Mom cut into him the next year and Sirius wasn't allowed to visit with the Potters for the first three weeks of summer, so instead James Potter visited with us every few days and on those days you could actually see Sirius smiling.

I never understood the fights. Present though I was at most of them, I never had a whole lot of comprehension as to what Sirius was fighting for. It was just a part of our lives, something that happened every few days. I loved my family and this was just another part of my family. They would always fight. They would always disagree, but at the end of the day I thought we all loved each other and nothing could break that.

It happened the summer before Sirius' sixth year at Hogwarts. We had just come home. Me, excited to see my parents again after spending the whole year - even Christmas and Easter - at Hogwarts, and Sirius annoyed that he couldn't go over to James' just yet.

We were home for only a few days before the inevitable fight broke out and this time even I could feel the seriousness that this one carried.

"...dangerous out there, mother, and you can't deny that those ideals you keep trying to push down my throat aren't to blame for it!" Sirius was yelling. "Blood doesn't matter. It's all red once it's spilled. Lily Evans is at the top of the class and she is Muggleborn. One of the most brilliant people I've ever met. What do you say to that?"

Mother shook her head. "A fluke," she said. "We cannot expect these people that are not a part of our world to just adapt to it, to know our ways."

"But they learn," Sirius said. "Taking them in, letting them learn our ways will..."

"No! They do not belong in this world...and you would do well to remember that. Voldemort is growing in power, and soon he will make the difference we've all waited for."

It was then, the fight took a turning point. Sirius had been ready to throw something back at her - he always was - but hearing her say this made him pause.

Now, we had all heard whispers of Voldemort at this point. Unless you had been living in a cave in the middle of the Forbidden forest - and even then you probably would have heard of him - Voldemort was a name that was starting to strike fear in everyone. There had always been rumors of an uprising, someone trying to fight to rid all Muggleborns and even Halfbloods from our world and people joining up with him for his cause. People had even said that he was responsible for some mysterious deaths, but there had never been proof. I had never heard someone speak so assuredly of him, but mother had and it shocked even Sirius. Father was unmoved.

"Voldemort," Sirius said and he laughed. "Of course, I should have known you'd be aligned with him. Do you have the Dark Mark too?" He shook his head and when he looked at father I realized Sirius had never been angrier than he was at that moment.

Mother looked shocked. I didn't know if it was because Sirius had mentioned the Dark Mark (although, to be truthful at the time I had no idea what that even meant) or because he thought she was that involved with Voldemort.

"Of course not," she said. "I would not brand myself in his name, but what he is doing is the right thing for everyone."

Sirius snorted. "He is murdering innocent people on the basis of who their parents are. No, I don't see how that is the right thing." He said this with almost a hint of sarcasm, but definite anger. When he spoke again he seemed to have calmed down some. "I've stood by and ignored this idea that blood matters. I've let you try to instill it in me time and time again and I have fought you the entire time. I have even understood on occasion why you might see things this way, but no more. If you think I will sit back while you cheer on this murderer -"

Mother gasped at this moment and made to protest, but Sirius continued.

"- yes, that is what he is, then you better think again. There are people fighting this. James' parents...Dumbledore...and I will be a part of the resistance because I will not be a coward Slytherin that watches as people die because of the circumstance of their birth."

That night Sirius left. He packed his school things, the few things in his room that he couldn't leave behind, and just walked out of Grimmauld Place. He didn't say goodbye to any of us and I like to think that it was because he found it hard. Despite everything, we were still his family. Sirius was still a Black even if he planned to play the part of the Potters' second son for the next few years.

It was not until after Sirius left that I realized what he fought for and why it was so important, but not before I was pledging my loyalty to the man - should he even be called that? - that my brother spoke so vehemently against. It was about a year later when it all came in focus. He was a killer, a mad man with mommy and daddy issues that feared death above all else. So, I began to fight back, not as Sirius had loudly and boisterously, but quietly, until I had the one piece of information that could change the entire war around.

I was never like my brother. Strong. Courageous. But I love my brother, and my death - however insignificant it will seem to the world - will hopefully mean that the world he wanted to save will be saved.


End file.
